Thursday, January 4, 2007

2006 Reflections: Friends

Warning! Melancholic posting ahead. Proceed at your own peril!

In the past year, I moved back to my hometown, leaving many good friends cum colleagues behind. Seriously, I had many doubts if I would make any new friends back in Seremban; after all, I was born here and I was just going back to the same place. I had no expectations in developing new friendships back here.

But God, in his strange mercy, has given me a new set of friends; in church, in my workplace, through existing friends and from an unexpected angle: blogging. For that, I am very grateful. And to think that at one point, I wanted to give up on friendship completely.

Developing friendships is a hard process; breaking down misconceptions, overcoming confict after conflict, overcoming unreasonable exceptions, learning to give and take, learning to forgive but in the end, I'd say, it is worth it. Friends will smoothen our rough edges and give us insights and maturity to step outside our narrow mindedness. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

What are the key ingredients in nurturing friendships. If I had to narrow it down to three, I would say, sincerity, humility and a good sense of humour.

For me, sincerity represents openness, honesty and the desire to make that friendship work. Pretenses, hypocrisy, falsehood and selfish motives slowly surface and drive a wedge into the relationship over time.

Friendships is not about having your own way. It is not necessary to have other people to accept your point of view all the time. Relationships are not won based on winning arguments but on mutual respect and learning to see the other's point of view. And most important of all, without humility, there can be no forgiveness. Pride is the wall that stands between broken relationships.

I think humour is an important element but it needs to be exercised in moderation. Isn't it nice to be able to see humour in a tense situation. To learn to laugh at ourselves and make fun of our silly human ways. Without humour, a relationship becomes very dry, like the desert without rain. No life.

Heh, the one thing harder than making friendships is maintaining it. Out of sight, out of mind, or so they say. People say; life is like that, people change and move on. How I wish it were not so. Oh for a memory that never forgets and treasures friendships and the resources to meet up whenever we can. Well, we have to accept our limitations.

To honor our friendships, I guess we shouldn't mope over the past but appreciate the fact that we have had the opportunity to establish those friendships. After all, who's to say, if God is willing, we shall meet again and pick up where we left off.


poohbearee said...

Hmmm....The post dun sound melancholic as u had warned.

I believe there is a purpose for everyone that comes into our lives. May u meet many more people and maintain your present r/s this year! :)

Las montañas said...

yes, I also think people whom we meet dun happen just by chance.

mott said...

true..true. one must work hard at maintaining friendships. but also endure the dissapointment when it's not reciprocated. But will always have an unconditional friend..your pooch! Argh! He's so cute!

Annie said...

Awe, you're all a bunch of romantic weenies. People come into our lives like vampires, because we invite them in. If we didn't, we wouldn't get bit. That's my theory! HA!

Nice blog entry Jonzz, I think I might blog something similar; but I've got too many deep reflections on this past year about "friends" that would be difficult to write in words. The sincerity part is very accurate - I'd have to agree with that. Honor is a very important thing to me and trust.

titoki said...

Very well written. :)

Ianfluenza said...

Yo dude... I'm back from Langkawi... LOL!!!

nyonyapenang said...

**clap, clap, clap**

Joycelyn said...

good post.....hmm,expect to have such a friend but we must learn to be's not easy though.....
by the grace of God,we can be a good friend of any when we reflect God's love to our friends.
yr 2007,friendship year too?

Jonzz said...

Poohbearie: thanks. not so melancholic eh, lol.

LM: come to think of it, half the bloggers i meet are thru your blog.

mott: ooo... u've fallen under the Spell of Scooby.

annie: no crime in being 'romantic' is there, lol!

titoki: arigato, titoki-chan.

ian: hurray!

nyonyapenang: welcome!

joycelyn: lol, friendship is for a lifetime not for a year.

Annie said...

Oh wait, did we come up with a caption for Scooby's picture there?

Multiple choices:

a) "Whaaaa, sex with the neighborhood hottie pooch?"

b) "I'll just sit here and smile until Master Jonzz gives me a cookie"

c) "I look innocent now, but I plan to smother you in your sleep when I have the first opportunity."

d) "Whaaaa, sex with the neighborhood hottie pooch?"

just me said...

Good friends, hard to find, but they are a rare gem when found