Monday, January 22, 2007

Reflection: Changes

Lately, I've been reflecting on a lot of things. Mainly because I've met tons of new people; not just in the blogger meets, but also in my social life and in the workplace.

I don't know about you but for me, forming and maintaining new relationships saps my energy like crazy. Every time you meet someone new, you gain some new perspectives. If you're the analytical sort like me, your brain goes into overdrive.

One of the thing I've been reflecting about is the changes I have made character-wise:

These days, I've had these terms bounced off me: friendly, joker, likes to hang out with young people.

In those days, I was labelled (hearing from third party) : serious, angry, fierce, moody, loner.

Deep down inside, I find myself still belonging very much to the latter category. Can a natural introvert truly become an extrovert? Can a leopard change its spots?

In the process of adapting to handle personal convictions and relationships, I have somehow developed this second outer persona. Which brings me to this singular dominating train of thought:

In changing that much, have I betrayed myself?

or just simply:

Who am I?

The struggles never end.

15 comments:

me said...

who are we? i think we are constantly evolving, changing to our environment. so "betrayal" to yourself is too harsh a word. i think by the fact that you are mixing more with younger people, they have brought out the younger side of you as well, and so you get all these other sides of your personality that may have been dormant when you were mixing with other mid-life crises frustrated 'oldies' (like myself. haha). don't analyse too much, just go with the flow and be happy. that's what really matters.

Las montañas said...

go along with the change. you can.

As a virgo, you are an adaptable and changeable sign. :)

poohbearee said...

Jonzz: Finally, I hv the time to comment now. LOL.

Think everyone wears a mask. If you think "friendly, joker, likes to hang out with young people" is an improvement from "serious, angry, fierce, moody, loner" then why not? I mean if u r joking and laughing, it is genuine rite?

Our upbringing, experiences and other external factors change us.

I happened to be asking that "who am I" question some time ago on my blog. Tot you gave some advice to me;p

Anyway, u read the book by Tim Lahaye on temperaments?

AND, you dun sound like a Virgo. Although we r not supposed to believe in this horoscope shit. ;p

Ianfluenza said...

We are who we mix with. Simple as that...

Unless we are outstandingly stubborn or a deliberate non-conformist, then it'll be another story...

titoki said...

The only person in the world you can change is you yourself only.

If you think that's a good change, then go for it.

If you think that you'd prefer to remain the same, then stay the same.

Life's as simple as that.

Julee said...

Dont change because people want you to change, change because you want to. But keep reminded that people are constantly changing. :)

King's wife said...

I wouldn't call it change but rather, being adaptable to different situations/people. :)

Bernard said...

Perhaps you just found some people who made you feel at home and you find that it's easier to be open with them?

Sam said...

You are what you think you are. I've heard a lot of things about myself too - not very pleasant ones (especially from a third party source) but I have a belief that, if you can't handle me - then don't hang out with me.

mott said...

ahhh... maybe u're just letting go of stuff that makes u pissed.

"When you share your sorrow, it will be halved. When you share your happiness, it will be doubled."

Maybe this is what you're going thru lately....?

poohbearee said...

I am very sure this zodiac sign describes u :)

"The most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac. His emotions and moods change all the time too. Others get confused by him and yet it is his constant changes that charm others. He never goes all out to get what he wants directly, but he will wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he will not lose it, except if he gets tired of it by himself.

This is one most sensitive man who cannot stand rejection. He cares a lot about what others feel or think of him. He hates losing face and he tends to overly protects himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person.

Gifted, creative and imaginative. Mystery and complexity plays a major role in his life. He could be very funny, very quiet, and suddenly very sad. Spending time with him could be very unpredictable, for you will not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you have met the right person and will not have a chance to get bored.

He thinks of his home as "nest" and it is the safest place for him. If he feels hurt or depress he will stay at home alone quietly. Once he feels better, he will come out of his retreat and lives normally again.

Unlike many other Zodiac, if he is mad then you better get out of that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his shoulders or concerned facial expression is enough."

Las montañas said...

wow what sign is that pooh?

Jonzz said...

me: How do you not analyze too much? Ignore your own thoughts? LOL... easier said than done I think. It's like ignoring your own internal voice.

LM: hmm... I don't believe in horoscopes.

poohbearie: I've read Tim La Haye's book on temperament. If you think more broadly, it's a bit like horoscopes, it generalizes human behaviour. I don't think I'm wearing a mask. It's more like a dual personality.

ianfluenze: yup, we become like those we mix with.

titoki: hmm... I think life is anything but simple. What works today may not work tomorrow. What seems like a good idea today may feel like the biggest mistake tomorrow. Perhaps, that's why I need to reexamine. Live and learn.

julee: I prefer to think I change because I care about the consequences of that change; both to others and myself. But it's hard to strike that balance.

king's wife: LOL, isn't changing part of adapting?

Bernard: LOL, umm... not sure if i get your idea correctly.

Sam: To each, his own principle. I'd have to say I'm still not yet finished with myself.

mott: Yeah, when I blog, I pour out my thoughts in an effort to understand myself and to get feedback.

poohbearie: LOL, you just blogged in my comment box. You just contradicted yourself. You said 'Although we r not supposed to believe in this horoscope shit.' By the way, what star sign is that?

LM: My question exactly..

JoMel said...

Well written. Somehow I am able to relate. very much so. I would say, just be true to yourself. No matter what. Your heart never lie.

Jonzz said...

jomel: thanks.