Thursday, August 7, 2008

Are You Really A Salesman?

People come packaged in all shapes, sizes and colours. Likewise, so do salesmen.

Two Saturdays ago, I accompanied Warsurfer to Times Square and Sungai Wang Plaza to buy his Nikon D60 camera. Yeah, the DSLR mania is spreading!

Anyway, nothing could have prepared us for different types of salesman we would encounter on that fateful day. Well, if I had to, this is how I would label them:

The Parrot

Sad to say, most of the salesman and saleswomen we encountered were parrots. Here's how a typical conversation with a parrot would go:

Jonzz: Hi, do you have a D60 camera kit?
Parrot: (turning to Parrot partner) Do we have a D60 camera kit?
Parrot partner: Let me check... yup.
Parrot: (turning to Jonzz) Yup
Jonzz: Errr.. How much is it?
Parrot: (turning to partner) How much is it?
Parrot partner: Let me check... RM2000
Parrot: (turning to Jonzz) RM2000
Jonzz: Wah, so expensive, cheaper can or not?
Parrot: (turning to partner) Cheaper can or not?
Parrot partner: Cannot lor. Lowest price, dy...
Parrot: (turning to Jonzz) Cannot lor. Lowest price, dy...
Jonzz: @#!$#@%

Basically, the Parrot has almost no knowledge of his products and is totally dependant on their seniors. Left on their own, they revert to the default answer., "I don't know".

The 'Lan Si'

"Lansi" means cocksure in cantonese, according to Warsurfer. This breed of salesman is absolutely arrogant and aloof that you wonder if they are there to do business. It seems like they are doing you a favour by selling to you, and No, you can't get discounts from them. They typically look disinterested in your existence and answer your questions in a zombie-like manner UNLESS you are a foreigner, in which case they transform into the Perfect Salesman and butt-kisser. Hmmm...

The Oracle

In Ancient Greece, the Oracle was usually ancient and all knowing. Well, at least that's my impression. So there we were walking in Sungai Wang Plaza, when we stumbled on this store filled, interestingly with old and new camera equipment alike. Settled into this quaint little shop was an old man (half asleep) and an old lady seated down. Did I say lady? Oops... sorry, my mistake.

The minute, Warsurfer asked her a question, she became kinda possessed and launched into an uninterruptable speech.

I know la why you came. You want to come to scout prices only one... I know one.... I work in this line for 30 years plus already... You tell me what you want la.... Tell me what price you want la... I know one...

Ok, I actually got bored typing that. Warsurfer was 'impressed' with her bluntness. I couldn't get out of that shop fast enough. *Shiver*

The Professor

This one is well versed with his products. And not just with his products, he knows the competition. Nothing much to say about him but we'll come back to this one in a little while.

The Two-Face

We went into a shop we actually checked out in advance using the Internet. Then we bumped into this salesman who was very knowledgeable and very friendly. We almost spent two hours in that shop, got a pretty good price and the sales seemed almost closed. Unfortunately, the chap said he had no stock but he will get it from their branch, so he told us to come back in 15 minutes so we decided to have dinner at McDonalds.

When we came back, we almost didn't recognize the salesman. He was seated in front of the shop wearing a huge thick black rimmed glasses. He looked almost surprised to see us back. Then he started apologizing, saying he had no stock and asked if we could come back on Tuesday. WTF!

The Conclusion

Well, needless to say, we had absolutely zero intention of coming back on Tuesday. Goodness knows what happened but we remembered the wise words of The Professor, "Some salesman will promise you a good deal at a ridiculously low price but when you want to buy it, they will tell you they don't have any stock and ask you to go back again".

In the end, we bought from the Professor. No, wait! We didn't.

Cos the Professor we encountered was stuck in the toilet for more than 15 minutes. We bought from his colleague in another branch instead.


team.warsurfer said...

Its an interesting post you got there!

Hahaha, yea that salesman dude is really a "steam cutter"..


Bernard said...

I wonder whether that're their attitude when it comes to interpersonal relationships too.

Las montañas said...

LOL!! nice post.
next time if you have time to spare, you should act out various personalities in front of the salesman, to see how he/she will react.

wuching said...

you spent the whole day buying the camera!

Annie said...

Gosh Jonzz, you just described why I absolutely hate shopping. I wish I had a bat every time I walk into a store.. On the bat would say, "Don't even think about coming near me." LOL! I do my own research as best I can. Here in America, you really only run into The Parrot. Aren't they annoying? Very well done Jonzz. Thanks for speaking for the rest of us. I'm sorry he didn't find his camera... The Force will be with him, I'm sure he'll find it when the "time is right." bwahahahaha.

Jonzz said...

warsurfer: ha ha ha, steam cutter!

bernard: Why don't you do the psychological analysis.. I've done enough work for this liao. HA HA HA

wuching: from noon to 9pm

annie: He did get his camera, Annie. Just not from the Parrots and the Two Faces. LOL..

Anonymous said...


I'm H. and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I'm contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

If you are interested, kindly mail back ( and I'll send you pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.