To Love or Not To Love
Have you ever thought about love?
Not the romantic type that draws two people together like a magnet. Or the silly crushes that make one ache for the presence of another.
I'm talking about the love that makes one human being to step out of his or her comfort zone and give of themselves to another when they have no obligation to. The unnatural kind of love that the major religions spout volumes about. Love for your neighbor, love for other living things, et cetera, et cetera...
Honestly, I don't feel worthy to speak about this. Yet...
Over the years, I find that the cumulative bad experiences, unpleasant betrayals and crushed expectations has corroded my capacity for love and good will.
It has become so easy to express love and not mean it. Love has become cold, intellectual and automated. An empty husk.
How do you regain love and compassion? Or is it like innocence; once it is lost, it is lost forever...
Some people will say, trust God and He will restore you. Sadly, at the moment, the potency of that idea is kind of overshadowed by my cynicism.
Sigh... what's the cure, huh?
Updates: Accidentally dropped and destroyed an old monitor at work today while trying to fix a computer. It's days like this that make you feel like shit.
Not the romantic type that draws two people together like a magnet. Or the silly crushes that make one ache for the presence of another.
I'm talking about the love that makes one human being to step out of his or her comfort zone and give of themselves to another when they have no obligation to. The unnatural kind of love that the major religions spout volumes about. Love for your neighbor, love for other living things, et cetera, et cetera...
Honestly, I don't feel worthy to speak about this. Yet...
Over the years, I find that the cumulative bad experiences, unpleasant betrayals and crushed expectations has corroded my capacity for love and good will.
It has become so easy to express love and not mean it. Love has become cold, intellectual and automated. An empty husk.
How do you regain love and compassion? Or is it like innocence; once it is lost, it is lost forever...
Some people will say, trust God and He will restore you. Sadly, at the moment, the potency of that idea is kind of overshadowed by my cynicism.
Sigh... what's the cure, huh?
Updates: Accidentally dropped and destroyed an old monitor at work today while trying to fix a computer. It's days like this that make you feel like shit.
Comments
u don't know how to love because u hv grown cynical. it's hard. life's so full of ugly things that it's difficult to keep the magic, the innocence, the love, the life alive. that's the difference between a middle-age man and a young man. it's the enthusiasm about life, the cynicism.
it's not easy to put all this cynicism aside...but if you look closely, there is love all around. if you r incapable of giving it now, open yr heart and receive it first then. let yr heart be touched by the beauty in others.
from what i see, monty, annie, pooh and myself...we hv been faithfully coming to yr blog to console u when u r down. given, we have our own episodes too..but each and every of us hv taken the trouble, when we can squeeze in the time, to come and talk to you. that's love. being there for u, to talk u through...
look for the beauty in people and you shall see. you'll feel happier if you choose to see the beautiful side of people, instead of the ugly.
Cure? I think you already know where to find it. Anyway, I believe also it is all partly in the mind.
Cynic Annie
We're all cynics Jonzz. Welcome to the club!!! ME is the worst of all of us... LOL! She's our LEADER. She wins the prize.
Cynics R Us.
Some 12 step program is needed.
Annie, tell us the brilliant and cycnical 12 step program, pls?
Annie: I guess this is a personal struggle and partially 'religious' in nature. I need to rant this out because it is how I feel.
ME: LOL, yeah, you took the words out of my mouth. I am just bemoaning the fact that somehow actions have become so ritualistic and automated.
PB: On the one hand, you say you are trying to interprete what I say. On the other hand, you are jumping to all sort of conclusions.
Don't say such presumptious things like 'I think you know where to find it' and general stuff like 'It's all in the mind'. You don't have to give advice for the sake of giving advice. I do not know the cure. I am very serious about what I have said in this entry. If you do not understand, please read again.
bernard: Thanks.
annie: Gosh, love your jokes. You have a cool way of pulling people out of their melancholia. Thanks.
Nothing to say and won't say anymore.
*insulted*
OK, my words were harsh and blunt.
And for that, I apologize.
But, I would be lying if I said your comments didn't tick me off because they did.
12 step program for the Cynical Support Group? Yikes.. we should all pool together with some steps. Wait. Are we trying to cure ourselves or are we just nodding our heads of how to destroy and conquer (geez, had to look up how to spell that word)
We need a Mission Statement for our Group and a cool name.
*Slapping Jonzz* That hurt you more than it hurt me.
oh! and you destroyed an old monitor... ! That was a meant-to-be thing. Things must die in order to be recycled.
Annie's Recycle Theory - ART